Tuesday, January 17, 2006

No, Claire, they are not out to get you.

Before camping out in front of the TV last night (this morning??), I went to the dentist again yesterday. Yup, I kept my second appointment. But, I am not sure how much more this can go on. I was totally prepared for the needle but I am realizing that my dentist does not really have much Mitleid (sympathy). After he stuck the syringe in my gum just under my left nostril, he injected very fast. After a few seconds it started to hurt, and I started to wimpper and my eyes produced tears. I was hoping he would pause for a few seconds but he grunted and said, "power through."

The dentist commenced with his drilling and poking and filling. Things that I heard from the chair:

"Now, I don't like the look of that."
"Let's see how stable this tooth is." (then starts knocking on the freshly drilled tooth)
"You have sensitive gums. I need to wait 30 seconds for all the bleeding to stop." This one made my eyes almost pop out of my head. My gums are not sensitive. They just don't like crazy German dentists getting too close to them with a drill!

I have to go back next Monday. Sigh. The fillings are up next. "We have four fillings to do." Wait. I thought you said I have only one cavity. "Well, there are three smaller holes. And all big holes started as small holes." I asked him to plan to do them all at once. He eyed me skeptically. "Are you sure you can handle it?" Yes, you big jerk. I have been known to power through some pain. It would probably be easier for me if you were a bit more sympathetic. I did not say that but I sure as hell thought it . . . yup, definitely going to have to find a new dentist.

THEN, the German had a run in with customs yesterday. While we are in the States, we got martini glasses as a Christmas gift. We got 8 total, four from my mom and four from my best bud, Jess. Because we had no room in our bags or carry on luggage, I decided to pack it up and mail it to our Germany address. I wrapped those suckers in a TON of bubble wrap plus Styrofoam peanuts. We received a notice from the German customs office in a small town (I am not revealing the name in order to protect the not so innocent), requesting that we come and pick-up our package.

My beloved finally had time to do that yesterday. When he got there, he said that there was a sticker on the box from the Frankfurt customs office and it appeared that it had been opened. Nonetheless he had to assume the position. Just kidding. Maybe.

Bored German Customs Officer: What is in the box, sir?

The German: 8 martini glasses, a Christmas gift.

Bored German Customs Officer: Open the box, sir.

The customs officer then took everything out of the box to inspect it. Unfortunately one glass got broken. The customs officer then informed my husband that anything over $40 coming into the country will be charged an import tax - EVEN IF IT IS A GIFT FROM YOUR AMERICAN INLAWS. But because he thought that the glasses were not worth $40 and one of them was broken, he would let it slide. JUST THIS ONCE.

WTF?? In the 18 months I have lived here this has never happened. My husband said, "There were 6 computers and 6 empty desks, and I was the only visitor." "Yes, sweetie, they have nothing else to do." Personally, I think that the glass got broke when the box was inspected in Frankfurt. Why did we have to check twice? Then I had a thought. The dentist, the customs officer. The Germans are out to get me.

Time for bed. Oh my god! They are showing the Golden Globes again. This time they have been dubbed into German. And it is . . . bad. Watching a few minutes I am reminded of why I don't watch these with the German. He is always going, "Who is that? Why are they there? What movie were they in?" It can get a little annoying.

One last thought - were all of Drew Barrymore's bras at the cleaners yesterday? Sweetie, the twins need a little support. And you need an eyebrow wax. I know I am being critical and would not want someone to say that about me, but I DO NOT PAY A STYLIST! Seriously, someone said, "No, Drew, you like great." Drew - fire that person.

1 comment:

Carrie Colter said...

You know, Germany has a history of being out to get some types of people...you MIGHT be one! Hehe- does that make you want to move back? You should have mailed 2 separate boxes at differnet times...split the risk :)