Monday, April 24, 2006

Claire's Tip of the Day

The following is a public service announcement from Claire.

When you and your spouse are cutting back on caffeine for health reasons, do not decide to drink a cup of coffee on Sunday night at 7:30pm.

You will wind-up lying awake all night long, and periodically wake-up your spouse by asking, "Honey, are you asleep? I cannot sleep."

You will almost break your alarm clock when it goes off at 7:30am and cry, "Dear God, just five more minutes!" You will then remember that you have to leave for your aerobics class in one hour, at which point you begin to debate with yourself: sleep vs. Aerobics. Only after remembering that glimpse of thigh you caught in the mirror yesterday while trying on your black suit to see if it fits, will you drag your sorry butt out of bed. Your spouse, who you kept up all night, will have no sympathy.

In your rush to get out the door and actually make it to your aerobics class, you will put on this t-shirt:

Then you will not notice as you put on this hoodie:

When you get to the gym you will be horrified and embarrassed about wearing a Notre Dame t-shirt with a Michigan hoodie, which is some circles is considered a sin that WILL SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL. You will refuse to take off your hoodie during your workout because you are afraid that someone will realize your offense. Only after sweating profusely will you realize that NOBODY IN GERMANY KNOWS WHAT THE HELL THE BIG 10 IS, and you will begin to relax.

However, you will then return home sweaty and exhausted from so much self-created drama before 10:00am on a Monday morning and curse the coffee you drank Sunday night.

Thank you for your attention. Have a nice day.


The German said...

That´s funny--- Go blue and fighting Irish-----Mhhh this is one of those moments I should better stop posting a comment because family but...go go go Blue Irish-----Forever Werder Bremen

PapaScott said...

I know what the hell the Big 10 is, but I went to Minnesota so I don't suppose that counts.

J said...

Suddenly I'm glad I don't drink coffee.

Dixie said...

I once saw a kid in Magdeburg with a Washington Redskins ball cap and a Dallas Cowboys t-shirt and wanted to stop him and tell him he shouldn't mix his NFC East teams like that but I was mostly wondering where he even got that stuff.

stringbean said...

HAHAHAHA! Yeah, you must've been outta your head to wear a ND t-shirt with a UM hoodie!

I'm glad you decided to keep the UM hoodie on though... GO BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

This whole thing makes so little sense, so I refuse to even comment.
Coffee is good anytime. And more is even better.


Mikey said...

First I am a hoodie fanatic. Just say "I don't know who to root for when they play against each other."

Haddock said...

Its good to cut down on Coffee, too much is not good for you. I understand the college football thing but I am with the German on this one....Forever Werder Bremen :)

christina said...

You're so funny, Claire! I know exactly what you mean about the coffee. Noon is my cutoff time now or I'm up all night.

But I had no idea it was such a faux pas to mix Michigan and Notre Dame. I'll store that away for future reference.

Expat Traveler said...

haha - I wish my adventures were this exciting. But as soon as you said the two, I said, but who would care??? And I was right... hehe..

I love your sweatshirt and would wear it all the time if I had one!

I guess I'm a lucky minority who can drink coffee before going to bed without any effects 99% of the time. Drink water, that helps...