When you get married, you often loose touch with the friends you had when you were single. It is not something that necessarily happens on purpose. People expect that you and your spouse will always go out as a couple. Unfortunately, many of your single friends may not know you spouse very well. Thus, you get fewer calls from single friends. You, on the other hand, do the same thing because you do not want your spouse to be uncomfortable because they do not know your friends. This all leads to having to find "couple friends."
The German and I do not have many "couple friends." Do you remember on Friends and King of Queens, how Monica and Chandler and Doug and Carrie try to "date" couples, but no one likes them and they don't find any couple friends? Well, this could be the German and I.
Most of my single friends are spread across the world, so I have good reasons for not seeing them often. Most of the German's single friends are nice, but when we go out with them I usually have nothing to say because we don't have much in common and they start chatting about people I don't know.
In an attempt to expand our circle (you know from two to four), the German and I went out with a guy who teaches at the German's school and his wife. Let's call them Mr. and Mrs. X. Mr. X is a teacher and Mrs. X is a graphic artist. They have an uber-hip apartment in the city.
Everything seemed to be going so well. The four of us strolled to a cocktail bar. My eyes twinkled as this cocktail bar actually had cocktails that I know and actually use the correct ingredients. I ordered a Cosmopolitan. Other than the splash of grenadine (??), it was okay.
I saw a "Martini Cocktail" on the menu. Score! Now, everyone in the world (except Germans) knows that a Martini is gin and vermouth with an olive. When the waitress came over I told her that I wanted a Martini. "Sure. On the rocks or straight up?" "Huh?" I pointed to the menu. "Oh! You mean a Martini Cocktail." Whatever, dude, just bring me my drink.
Mr. and Mrs. X were confused. I explained that Martini is a brand of vermouth, and for some reason Germans like to drink it straight. Everywhere else we mix it with gin to make a "Martini." Blank stares. "You know, like what James Bond drinks?" They seemed to except my explanation but thought it was a little strange.
I decided that they needed a proper lesson about cocktails. "Usually you serve a Martini with an olive. If you use an onion, it is a Gibson. If you pour olive juice in it, it becomes a Dirty Martini." They were in awe of my cocktail knowledge, and perhaps just a little bit frightened. I am happy to say that despite the language barrier, my Martini Cocktail was delicious and they even gave me two olives.
I then went on to explain the roots of the phrase "bathtub gin." Mr. X asked me to make a cocktail recommendation. I hate making drink recommendations. Everyone has a different pallet. Some people enjoy fruity drinks, others sour drinks, others still want something sweet. I recommended a Tom Collins, one of the first cocktails and a classic.
After it came, Mr. X downed it quickly, but I am not sure he enjoyed it. Mrs. X tried it and wrinkled up her nose. "Too sour. Too strong." Sorry, but when you ask me to make a recommendation, you have to be specific about the things you like.
I am pretty sure that all my talk about making a proper cocktail scared the crap out of them. Mr. X dodged the German in school this week and we have no future plans with them. Sigh. I wonder if the couple down the street is busy this weekend. I promise not to bring up the topic of cocktails.