I am a voracious reader. I can devour a book in a few hours. The German says that it is like crack or something for me. He is not completely wrong. When I need to make a decision about something, I always try to be as informed as possible. This leads to even more reading.
When I found out that I was pregnant, I immediately started reading pregnancy books. But about a month ago, I realized that, “I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout birthin’ no babies.”
Oh sure, I have a general idea about the birth process. But I need details, stages of labor, what is going to happen at every minute. Also, I believe that knowledge is a powerful weapon against fear, which often makes birth more painful.
What I have been reading is a bit . . . scary. My fear of child birth has been quelled a little bit, but I have to say that I am not opposed to drugs (i.e. pain relievers) during the birthing process. The German objected to this when we discussed it a few months ago.
German: Honey, I think that it may interfere in your bonding process with baby.
Claire: Sweetie, are you going to be pushing something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon?
German: Well, no.
Claire: Then you don’t get a vote.
After relaying this anecdote to a German woman, she looked at me with disappointment and shame. “You cannot be serious! Why would you use pain relievers?” She shamed me. She made me feel like a crack whore. It was my first interaction with a Super-mom.
Super-moms do not need epidurals. They make organic baby food. They take their kids to “Mommy and Me” and know about all the latest research in childhood development. They are also very opinionated and not afraid to share their opinions. I have noticed this on some “mommy blogs.”
It never ceases to amaze me how vicious some people can be in their comments. Some of these moms will take another woman apart over things like breastfeeding or sleeping patterns. I thought women should support each other and offer helpful advice. Being pushy and condescending is not helpful.
I am probably not going to be a Super-mom. I have decided to take the epidural if needed. I probably will not make my own baby food. And you know what? As some of my books say, that is okay. In the end parenting and motherhood are very personal experiences. Each mother must find her own way through this labyrinth. Unfortunately babies do not come with a manual. Trust me, I have been looking. Thoughtful advice is welcome . . . just don’t get pushy.