Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Induction Malfunction

I am still here. And I am still pregnant. I know you must be tired of reading about it. I know that I am tried about writing about it.

Yesterday I went to the hospital in hopes of an induction. The doctors pumped my body with oxytocin for three hours. They stopped because too much can be harmful to the baby. I had a few mild contractions. After stopping the medication, my contractions stopped within one hour. I stayed in the hospital overnight "just in case." The doctors examined my cervix before and after the procedure, as well as this morning. The "induction" accomplished nothing. And now I am home again.

I had a decision to make. I could ask the doctor to do a C-section, or I could continue along the current path and let nature attempt to take its course. Because there is no medical reason for a C-section, I have decided to wait it out. Unfortunately, the Dude is running out of time. My mom flies back to the U.S. on Saturday.

My mother came to Germany with one purpose: to be at the birth of her grandchild. She may leave without seeing that happen. I feel really bad about this, mostly because my mom and I ran out of things to do about a week and a half ago. We are bored out of our minds. Unfortunately, my mother does not speak German, which rules out television and trashy magazines. And you know what, dude, you can only clean the living room so many times.

This entire experience is teaching me a not so wanted lesson. I am a very organized, planned person. Under normal circumstances I need to know where to be and when at all times. I live by my schedule and my calendar and cannot stand it when people are late.

When I was told that having children would fundamentally change my life, I had no idea that it may have to fundamentally change the way I am. I am in the process of learning (the hard way) that kids do not come with a calendar or a schedule. I have to be "flexible," which is not really in my DNA. I am trying to come to terms with this and the poor German is getting the short end of my temper these days.

I reached an emotional low point this past weekend. On Saturday I received a ticket in the mail informing me that I was at fault in my accident in November. Although I still do not believe that I was completely at fault, fighting the ticket is more trouble than its worth. All of the pressure of the waiting, paying my income taxes, trying to reschedule March lessons (I thought I would be at home with my baby by then!), and answering the phone to, "Yes, I am still pregnant," led to a bit of a crying.

My doctor and midwife said that the pressure I put on myself is probably keeping the baby inside. Why come out to all the self-made drama? The Dude is like his dad. He is no fool. So I am trying to adopt a "Who cares?" attitude. It does not fit real well, but at this point, I don't have many options left.

14 comments:

CN Heidelberg said...

Claire, you are in my thoughts. I hope it happens soon!

Diane Mandy said...

I'm sorry. Hang in there lady!

kim said...

*hugs*

hang in there! :)

Carol said...

More similarities! My mom came (from Oregon) to live with us when I was pregnant with the Elisabeth, having to fly home before she was born 2+ weeks late.

Hang in there, Claire. Your decision to just let go and let things happen will bring him!

You were wise not to go for the C-section, since it's not medically necessary. He'll be here soon!

Carol

Anonymous said...

If I understood correctly he was 2 weeks overdue on the 17th, is that right? I'm wondering, how much longer do you plan to wait, and if he doesn't make an appearance before then, what will you do?

Best wishes for you and your family in the meantime and I hope this situation resolves itself soon.

Maria said...

Good luck and big hugs!

Maria said...

BTW-- if I had known then what I know now, I would have pressed the doctor to wait another week rather than being induced! Pretty sure if I would have wanted to hit anyone who told me that at 41 w 5 days (when I was induced), but still...

christina said...

Oh dear, that's no fun. I'm glad you didn't go for the C-section. I think they should give you more time especially since you said the due date *you* calculated was Febrary 14. My ultrasound thingies were always totally off as to size = week of pregnancy.

But maybe the docs are right - as soon as you give it all (ALL of it - traffic tickets, work, taxes and everything else) up to the universe to take care of (just for a little while, at least) the big guy will make his appearance.

Crossing my fingers that he'll be here before your mom leaves!

EuroTrippen said...

Sounds like little Dude's already calling the shots. I predict he'll make his grand entrance before your mom leaves...

In the meantime plan to do something really intricate and involved... say setting up a new website, painting a room or ororganizing every photo you've ever taken in your life.

Spread out all your work. I mean really go for it and cover the table and floors with tons of stuff (the complete opposite of the whole nesting everything-in-order mode).

Mark my words, once you're good and into it and distracted, that's when he'll decide to come. It works every time.

Anonymous said...

I predict the Dude will arrive between the 19th and the 23rd (full moon). Good Luck!

Carol said...

Oh yes, and don't forget the Great Inducer: s-e-x.

Carol

J said...

Being a teacher does require one to be quite organized and stick to a schedule. I'm like that too. It's quite hard to find a balance between that and 'letting go' in your personal life and I also have that problem sometimes after doing it for 40 hours a week. Good luck.

Sorry to hear about the ticket.

hexe said...

I wish there was more than I could say besides "I'm sorry." Screw the doctors and the pressure excuse - you feeling pressure does not medically keep Little Dude from appearing. My experience is that my children have forced me to grow and change in ways that I would never have imagine, and didn't necessarily always want. It's not always easy just to let go - I still fight it too. In a few years, this will be funny; it just sucks really bad right now. Just hang in and don't blame yourself.

Carrie said...

You need a massage. The lady who gave me mine yesterday said I was holding a lot of built up pressure in my head and shoulders. You and me aren't so damn different in that neighborhood...so go get a good massage...they have "preggie" ones and make it a regular thing. If you were stateside I'd sign you up myself.