Monday, March 31, 2008

The Part Where Claire Learns a New Word

I wanted to write over the weekend. However, a new math formula has taken over my life:

(cranky baby + loads of laundry) * no sleep = no time to blog

But I have a moment now to relay yet another amusing poop anecdote. I don't want to write about this anymore, so I am begging you all for suggestions. Post a topic or a question or even tag me for a meme. Although I find time to write, my creativity has taken a hit due to lack of sleep.

The Part Where Claire Learns a New Word

Flashback to February 21. The fact that the Dude was two weeks overdue and my frustration during that time have already been commented on. Therefore, I will not elaborate on that. The morning of February 21 I went to my doctor to be hooked up to a fetal heart monitor. After 20 minutes I did not need the doctor to tell me that the baby was fine and that I was having zero contractions. I looked at the doctor and informed him that I had had enough and that a C-section might be the best bet. The doctor shook his head thoughtfully. "Okay, Ms. S., I will call the hospital and organize everything for tomorrow. Please go to the hospital at 4pm today for some pre-op labs."

At 4pm I trotted over to the hospital. I had to talk with the doctor and the anesthesiologist. They informed me of the risks of the procedure. Papers were signed. Blood was drawn. Then they also informed me that I would be spending the night there. Excuse me? My C-section was scheduled for 1:30pm. Couldn't I please stay in my own bed one last night? The doctor was very nice about the whole thing.

"Oh, no, we have several things that we have to do and check before the procedure tomorrow?"

"Like what?"

"Well, you will have to have an Einlauf, and sometimes that puts women into labor. Therefore we have to monitor you throughout the evening."

I thought an Einlauf was like an IV. How could getting fluids through an IV put me into labor? I decided to ask. "What is an Einlauf?"

"It is done to clean out your intestines."

My eyes widened with understanding. "Do you mean an enema?"

"Yes, I believe that is the word in English."

"Oh, shit," I said in English.

The well meaning doctor smirked. "Well, yes actually."


6 comments:

J said...

LOL! At least you've got a doc with a sense of humor.

PapaScott said...

I was present when my wife gave birth to our son, but the Einlauf was one procedure I decided to skip...

Liz E said...

I love your doctor!

Okay here is a meme I got last night. I haven't done it but it's a fairly short one. And you could always blog about cultural differences. You give me such hope that my vision of living in England could be a reality someday :-)
XOXO


HOW HAVE YOU CHANGED MEME

HIGH SCHOOL
Location
Favorite Color
Best Friend
Favorite Song
Goals in Life
Favorite Crush
Best Romantic Moment
Worst Romantic Moment
Thing You Would Do Over
Thing You Wish You Could Erase
Random Fact
Memorable Moment

COLLEGE
Favorite Color
Best Friend
Favorite Song
Goals in Life
Favorite Crush
Best Romantic Moment
Worst Romantic Moment
Thing You Would Do Over
Thing You Wish You Could Erase
Random Fact
Memorable Moment

ADULT LIFE
Favorite Color
Best Friend
Favorite Song
Goals in Life
Favorite Crush
Best Romantic Moment
Worst Romantic Moment
Thing You Would Do Over
Thing You Wish You Could Erase
Random Fact
Memorable Moment

Dixie said...

Why is it that you don't seem to learn the word Einlauf until someone's wanting to give you one?

I'd never heard the word myself until the night before I had surgery. I was chatting with a friend who had come to see me in the hospital when the nurse came tell me she needed to give me one. I had no idea what she was talking about and neither my friend nor the nurse spoke English.

I wish I had a video of my friend explaining Einlauf to me in sign language.

Anonymous said...

I confused the words "einlauf" and "auflau". Fortunately my husband figured out what I wanted to serve pretty quickly and found it amusing rather than disgusting.

Ahhh. . .German.

ann

Carrie said...

Hey, in the states that would cost you a pretty penny and they would call it part of your spa treatment. So, you had a very exspensive spa treatment before you gave birth. Hopefully someone rubbed your feet and gave you a mud mask along with it. haha!