Last week someone asked me if I was able to make difficult decisions. It made me realize that although I might go back and forth and have many sleepless nights, when it comes down to it, yes, I can make life's difficult decisions. Two of the most difficult decisions I have ever made were getting married and having a baby. Turns out that the anniversary of these two things overlap.
Today we have been married for four years. I will never forget that day. It is also the anniversary of the worst hangover of my life (note to future brides: DO NOT have your bachelorette party the night before your wedding), but that is not why I will not forget it. In the days before the wedding I was so uncertain. Was leaving my country and family a good idea? But the day of the wedding, as I sat in my dress and waited for the photographer to finally show up, I was calm; certain. I knew without a doubt that I was doing the right thing. I had found the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
Today, my little Dude, you are five months old. Before you were born, your father and I tried for months to get pregnant. When we decided to put kids off, wouldn't you know, you came along. Oh, crap, I thought, is this really what I want? Because I was so unsure, I must admit that I did not enjoy pregnancy too much. Then, the night before you were born, I knew. I was certain that having a baby was the next step. And, just as the day I got married, I calm and knew that everything would be okay.
Now, no matter how hard I try, I cannot imagine my life without the two of you; my lovely boys. Okay, so you drive me a little crazy. On Saturday night when the Dude would stop crying, and then the German would start snoring I was convinced that the two of you were in cahoots to make sure that I did not sleep. No matter. I am tough.
Over the past few weeks I have realized that 22 is my lucky number, as it is the day that brought you two into my life. Although I pretend to protect you both, it is you who protect me. Funny, turns out that those difficult decisions were not so difficult after all.
All my love,
Your Wife and Your Mother