Sunday, February 22, 2009


My dearest Christopher,

How is it possible? I do not understand. How is it possible that in one short year you have gone from this:

to this:

It seems that we have met our greatest enemy: time. Every day you are stronger and more independent. You sit up and crawl away. That toy across the room is so much more interesting than mommy. You can put your toast with jam in your mouth all by yourself. No need for mommy's help.

Although I welcome every new step and rejoice in your development, today I am sad. With every step you make, I begin to realize that you will not always be my baby boy.

It has been quite a year. To be honest, there were days when I did not think that I would make it. There were days when you had me beat down. But with a smile or a giggle, the sleepiness and frustration would slip away. Sometimes I still look in the mirror and cannot believe that I am a mom. Sometime I look down at you and cannot believe that you are a part of me.

But in the morning hours when you nestle up into me and take your bottle in your hand, for at least 10 minutes there is just me and you. I love these moments more than you will ever know. The pediatrician said that we should stop giving you your morning bottle. But I can't just yet say goodbye to my baby boy and hello to my toddler. Perhaps you can indulge me for a few more months?

As sad as I am, I am so excited about the future. You explore your world with eyes so fresh and innocent that it makes me stop and enjoy the small moments. I cannot wait to show you things and teach you games and discover the world together.

So on this, your first birthday, I wish you much love and happiness, joy and health. It is but one year in your life, but it has been the world for me.

All my love,


G in Berlin said...

Wow, Claire. Give yourself some space. If you were breastfeeding you could do so for at least another year with the whole hearted support of WHO and then yet another two with a "it's still great for the both of you but not mandatory for good health). So why be so quick to cut the ties? You can comfortably give bottles for another 6 months to a year as long as you don't let him use them as pacifiers (bad for the teeth.
Some people are so darned uptight and basically putzes. You both enjoy this time- never hear of anyone going to university or even gymnasium with either a bottle or a pacifier!

christina said...

Happy Birthday you little cutie!!! Some time soon I'm going to come see you in person. And yeah, tell your mom to keep giving you that bottle for a while longer if you want it.

And P.S. Our dentist says that pacifiers are perfectly OK too. :-)

kim said...

happy birthday, christopher! xoxoxo

jen said...

Happy birthday little one. This got me all teary. He's a lucky little guy to have you and the German.

You know if you had one more, you could extend that baby thing. Hahaha.

I'm realizing right this second that one kid is plenty. I'm not doing this pregnancy thing again.

Snooker said...

Happy Birthday Little Dude.

Carol said...

Happy birthday, Christopher! And Claire, happy first year to you! You're so right -- it goes incredibly fast! But even after they leave, they come back. :-)


J said...

Belated Happy Bday, LD!

Chad said...

I love the pic of him standing at the bottom of the stairs. He is beautiful...just like his parents. He is going to accomplish so much in his lifetime. All my love!

Gracey said...

Happy birthday to your little one! Your post was very moving.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Claire . In case you haven't noticed, it's now the eleventh of March!!

Mike B said...

Almost a bit of a devilish smile there, but what a cutie.

Berlinbound said...

He will let you know when the time has come for a change, whatever that change may be, and there are many, and they seem to come rapid-fire after Birthday number One.

Enjoy it all.