My dearest Christopher,
How is it possible? I do not understand. How is it possible that in one short year you have gone from this:
It seems that we have met our greatest enemy: time. Every day you are stronger and more independent. You sit up and crawl away. That toy across the room is so much more interesting than mommy. You can put your toast with jam in your mouth all by yourself. No need for mommy's help.
Although I welcome every new step and rejoice in your development, today I am sad. With every step you make, I begin to realize that you will not always be my baby boy.
It has been quite a year. To be honest, there were days when I did not think that I would make it. There were days when you had me beat down. But with a smile or a giggle, the sleepiness and frustration would slip away. Sometimes I still look in the mirror and cannot believe that I am a mom. Sometime I look down at you and cannot believe that you are a part of me.
But in the morning hours when you nestle up into me and take your bottle in your hand, for at least 10 minutes there is just me and you. I love these moments more than you will ever know. The pediatrician said that we should stop giving you your morning bottle. But I can't just yet say goodbye to my baby boy and hello to my toddler. Perhaps you can indulge me for a few more months?
As sad as I am, I am so excited about the future. You explore your world with eyes so fresh and innocent that it makes me stop and enjoy the small moments. I cannot wait to show you things and teach you games and discover the world together.
So on this, your first birthday, I wish you much love and happiness, joy and health. It is but one year in your life, but it has been the world for me.
All my love,